Searching for the Better Me

My self-confidence had been burdened by my physicality my whole life. At 200+ pounds I felt I never would be happy, loved, pretty, or healthy. Learning to be comfortable in my own body gave me a thicker (and simultaneously thinner) skin. I am learning to deal with my emotions in more constructive ways, and actually do something for myself and my future.

I'm starting to let go of what I thought others were thinking about me, confronting my own insecurities, loving myself more truly than I ever had before, and seeing the real me is somewhere beneath all that excess weighty and emotional baggage.

The mindset change came first. I realized I wasn't happy, I wasn't loving myself, and I was worth more than I was offering myself. Then I turned the situation around.

It had to happen in that order. I'm proud it did, and ready to keep going.

Sunday 4 September 2011

For Real (and a recipe)

I'm starting over again...well, not starting over. I'm starting to continue again. Every break I have taken has been brief and not resulted in weight gain, so I'm not starting over.
As of Tuesday:
No potatoes, no chips, no crackers, no desserts, limited cheese, no pop.
3-4 vegetable servings a day.
2 fruit servings a day.
No napping...we'll see how this goes.
Limited snacking/carbs.

I want to lose 10 pounds by Thanksgiving. This deadline should help me stay motivated.

And now for a recipe. I can home this weekend to make banana bread. Obviously that isn't the only reason I came home. It is a holiday weekend. Not to mention Greek Rush is going on at school and I want to stay as far away from that as possible. How many girls in single file lines dressed all the same can I stand to see in a day? Not too many, so I'm glad I came home. But I digress...

I wanted to make banana bread. I've been craving it something awful. But I want healthy stuff. Is that possible? I don't want to sacrifice taste for health. So I'll let you know how this went. It is a modified recipe I found online. This recipe sounded good, but I knew I could make it my own. So this is what I did...

Banana Mocha Chip Muffins
Ingredients                                                            Directions
1-Mash bananas in large plastic bag. To bag add flavoring of your choice, dash of salt, maple syrup. Close bag, mash. Refrigerate overnight, or freeze for 3 hours.
2-In large bowl combine oil and brown sugar. Whisk until combined.
3-Add eggs to mix, then stir in banana mixture, and vanilla.
4-Stir in salt, flour (little by little), and oats.
5-Add baking powder and cinnamon sugar to hot coffee. Stir mixture and add to large bowl of batter. Add flour as necessary for consistency.
6-Stir in Nuts/Chocolate chips.
7-Pour mixture into greased muffin tins, filling each cup 2/3 full.
8-Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Bake 12-15 minutes or until they pass the toothpick test.
9-Cool, eat, enjoy?


Step 9 has yet to be tested. I'm experimenting. I'll let you know how they taste.

Instead of muffins I made banana bread. I used my mom's hazelnut flavoring that she uses in her coffee to sweeten it a bit. Whole wheat flour tends to make things taste drier so I needed to sweeten things up. I got a medium (8"x4"x4") and a small (6"x3"x3") loaf out of it. Placed the pans in a casserole dish filled with water for even baking. I baked the at 350 for 54 minutes. And dumped them out to cool right away. After 5 minutes I put them in a ziplock bag in the fridge. (BAD IDEA...locks in the moisture). Let cool completely, then wrap with tinfoil. Freeze if you're not going to eat it all within the week. They smell delicious. Can't wait for breakfast. Hope no one eats them. I did get a taste of the bits caked on the pan...very good warm.